Wow.

Where do I even begin? How can I possibly process and put into words the experiences I just had? How can I share with you, through mere words, the energy, the passion and the desire for change that was the hallmark of the last week?

Truthfully, I do not think that I can. This is definitely an experience that someone has to live through to be able to appreciate it, own it and move forward with it. I am forever grateful that I had the opportunity to be part of it. I am changed in a way that I did not realize I could still be changed. I have grown in just a few short days, had my perspective challenged and changed and validated. How amazing is that? You are with a group of people, many of whom you have never met, and there are times they absolutely validate the beliefs you hold and walk with daily. On the flip side, they all challenge some of those beliefs and help you grow into a new perspective and way of thinking. And then you change. You become someone who is more reflective, more passionate (if that is possible!) and even more dedicated to the work you do every day.

This four day institute absolutely changed me. My school was part of the first cohort in our area so my school sent a team to the Leading Educators Institute (LEI) in 2017. As I was new to my school and finishing an intense process of writing a doctoral dissertation, it was not appropriate for me to be on that team. However, I was able to be added this year and attend with the new cohort. 

What does that mean? It means I have some background that a lot of the folks at LEI didn't have...because my school has done some of this work and I got to experience it as a teacher. Now, however, I will move forward with it as a Lead Learner (I love that phrase) and share my knowledge and passion alongside my colleagues to make our school more equitable for every single child that enters our school. 

It was very interesting to experience LEI through this lens because I had already experienced the Content Cycles protocols and workshops that our school participated in last year. I would be lying if I didn't say that I gained a huge new perspective, understanding and appreciation for the work after having experienced the institute. Everything I was unclear about before burst forth in one large A-HA moment for me. That in and of itself is powerful.

We had some absolutely amazing guest speakers during the institute as well. I was moved multiple times; there were times tears were in my eyes (and perhaps even on my cheeks if we are being totally honest) because I see the mistakes so many of us have made with the best of intentions. I often say you don't know what you don't know...and this institute showcases some of that. Even our keynote speakers admitted having made mistakes. Imagine standing before an entire room of educators and admitting that you helped perpetuate the false narrative around students of color (and now imagine you are a person of color making this admission). That takes some serious heart and reflection and it did not go unnoticed.
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One of my absolute favorite keynotes was Dr. GT Reyes. During his very opening remarks he said he wouldn't be teacher of the year again this year and it was the "you had me at hello" moment for me. People often think that I do what I do because I want the accolades. I don't need anyone to toot my horn (I'm quite good at boosting my own ego when I need to do so, thankyouverymuch). I do this work because I believe in it and I believe in our kids. For Dr. GT to note that you don't have to be the teacher of the year to make a difference...it just made my heart sing. 

This was another powerful one for me. The stories he shared and the vulnerability with which he approached the work we are all trying to do was inspiring. He spoke a lot about (and showed some disturbing images of) the fight we are currently fighting for HUMANITY. Every person, regardless of who they are, deserves to be treated as a human being. I feel like that is often lost in this day and age and I'm glad GT stood right up and said "Nope!"

And of course I had to get my picture taken with my new hero! I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to hear him speak. Better yet he is a professor where a very good friend of mine is working on his doctorate. The friend reports that Dr. GT is the genuine article. #jealous

On Thursday we had Lacey Robinson from UnboundEd as our keynote. Previously they had shared some of her work with us in a professional development session that teachers in my district attended. To hear her speak in person was amazing. She is an African American woman who boldly proclaimed that she KNOWS she has messed up and continued to push a false narrative, thinking she was doing what was right by her students. To admit that in a crowd of teachers that you don't know...powerful and brave. 

I think this was one of the most important things I heard her say. I think this is why I've always made it a point to be reflective. I look back at my first few years of teaching from my current vantage point and I can see the mistakes I was making. Of course, at that time, I used the knowledge that I had and did what I thought was right. (Leveled library anyone?) Once you know you are making wrong moves and you work toward changing them, you are growing. It is when you know you are making wrong moves but you keep doing what you've always done that we have a problem. We have to be willing to be uncomfortable. We have to be willing to push through that discomfort because it is what will make the biggest shift and change in our practice. Why should we do this? To benefit our students of course. 

This was one of my final reflections that I tweeted. Truly, it's hard for me to fully express how much I appreciate the opportunity to experience LEI in this way. And now when I go back to my school in August as a Lead Learner, I'm going to work hard to remember that many of my colleagues don't have the benefit of having the "back story" of the work we are trying to do. I'm going to push for our LE team to really take a step back for a moment and share WHAT the bigger picture is so everyone truly buys in, jumps on board and can see what the purpose of this work is. Because I fully believe that the purpose is to pull us all together in a way that pushes our thinking, challenges our biases and the false narratives we have inadvertently carried around and strive to make education truly equitable for every child regardless of their status, ethnicity, gender, race, poverty level or zip code. 

​Together, I am very certain we CAN change the face of education for all kids. 

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say teachers have summers off. While some of us may not technically go to a job during the summer months (although let's be fair, plenty of teachers work a second job in the summer and often during the school year too!), we certainly have earned time to rest and recharge.

I was at a workshop at the end of June and they shared a meme that I surprisingly hadn't seen before:

This is so true! If we are to be effective at our jobs from August to May/June, then we need to have that time off in the summer to recharge. It bothers me when people suggest teachers don't work in the summer because it simply isn't reality. We are working on creating memories with our own families after spending so much of our year working with and caring for other people's children. We are working on higher education degrees or other certifications (such as adding an endorsement or becoming Google Certified). We are reading professional books or revamping curriculum to try to make our lessons more engaging or more developmentally appropriate or tweaking a cool activity that just didn't work out the way we had hoped it would. We are attending workshops to learn more skills and/or to better hone the skills we already have. Most of this extra PD and the higher degrees are also paid for out of our own pocket.

If you actually know me (i.e.. have followed my former blog for awhile or know me in person or through other social media venues), you know I'm pretty blunt. I'm not a sugar-coating kind of gal. It makes me wicked angry when people suggest teachers do not deserve these summer breaks. So let's clear this up with a bit of math, shall we?

My school district contract states that I get paid 30 hours per week. It even shows up on my pay stub (60 hours over two weeks). That's what I get paid for in terms of my salary. The amount of days I am paid for is usually 195. Sometimes it is a bit more or less depending on how the calendar falls that year, but that is the general amount. 195 contracted days (185 of those days are with students). 195 days times 6 hours per day equals 1,170 hours per school year that I am paid via contract.

With a few exceptions, I'm generally in my school from 7 am until 4 pm. Some days I stay longer or leave earlier but this is the average time frame I have kept for the last several years (really since my younger two kids began middle school; as a point of reference they will be in 10th and 11th grade for 2018-2019). That's 9 hours per day. I get paid for 6 (*note it is 6 hours because lunch and recess breaks should equal roughly one hour of the day that the students are there and those times are unpaid). So three free hours of work per day extra for a total of 15 overtime hours per week that are physically spent in my school building. That doesn't account for any work I may do at home. I generally do not work much at home except the first two weeks of school as I'm grading new assessments and getting to know my new class and during the end of a marking period. So all told, I just average it to about 45 hours per week because the extra hours I put in at the beginning of the year and during marking period ends are usually balanced out with personal days and such.

Using the same math as above, I average 1,755 hours physically in my school building (and this does not include the days before contract begins that I'm there on my own time setting up). If you divide 1,755 hours by a 6 hour school day, it equals 292 1/2 days. If you are keeping up, that's 195 days we are paid for, but I average the equivalent of 292.5 days based on the hours I actually spend at school. That's the equivalent of 97 1/2 days that I'm working for free. My summer this year (not counting the time I'll have spent in workshops and setting up my new classroom) is 9 weeks long. 9 weeks times 5 workdays is only 45 days. So even with that "summer off" I've still put in more time than I've had off when you look at the equivalent time. When you factor in the summer PD I've taken part in, my summer is really only 6 weeks long...so that adds even more to the deficit in terms of time I would be "owed" if I worked a job that paid overtime.

How many folks out in the general public do you think would be okay with working that much extra time and not getting compensated for it?

If you said "nobody" you are right. Nobody.

This is the first summer in four years that I haven't been taking doctoral level classes. That means this is the first summer in four years that I have actually had a true break. No classes, no papers to write, no deadlines to meet. Multiple days strung out in front of me without an agenda or to-do list. I'm not going to lie; it has been absolutely fabulous, but it also isn't the norm for most teachers.

For once, I'm able to read for pleasure (12 books since school got out if you're interested in knowing). I'm able to spend leisurely days with my own kids and husband. I'm able to spend time with my grandson without a paper deadline looming over me. I'm fortunate that I don't have to have a second job because of my husband's income...not all teachers have that luxury.

Before you think this is a big whine fest on how underpaid teachers are (and for sure I am not knocking my district; I don't have to work the extra time...my kids would still learn but I do it because this work matters to me and I want to be the best I can be for YOUR students), I simply want folks to understand. Teachers deserve this time off. How could we possibly be our best for every student if we are exhausted all of the time? How could we possibly be the best for our own children and spouses if we are exhausted all of the time? We can't. This is time we have more than earned and it'd be pretty amazing if most folks would finally get that.