We are in an unprecedented time in America. Schools are closing down for 4-6 weeks. People are hoarding toilet paper and other supplies. I heard a pundit on television say "everyone should be panicking." (Um, no, they should not.)

These are scary times. Students and staff are scared. They are unsure what is going to happen. For food insecure families, closing schools might mean they won't eat well until schools reopen. Parents may lose their jobs because the job closes down for the next several weeks (especially those in restaurants and similar). Parents may not have daycare during this time and aren't sure what to do with their children. Add on top of all of this uncertainty the media's reaction and you could have a recipe for disaster.

I'm as nervous as the next person, especially because I do not understand how our government could have denied the severity of this virus for so long. But I am not panicking. I know staying home might not be that fun, but it's worth it to not become a carrier for this virus and pass it on to people I care about.

Teachers across the country have stepped it up and with little notice have provided packets, online learning opportunities and other ways to stay connected with their students during these times. I think this is important to note because we are going above and beyond because that's what teachers do. It's what we have always done, now it's just in the spotlight and people are noticing it more.

My district was proactive and sent our students home with their chromebooks on Friday. Each student from grades 3-12 will have connections with their teachers via Google Classroom or Schoology. I have provided my students will my phone number (a Google Voice number so not my personal one) so they can call or text me if they are needing an adult to talk to. It's only been the weekend and I've had three different students already reach out to me. Relationships mean a lot!

My own kids' district hasn't been as proactive. It makes me sad. I don't want my kids sitting home for a month. If I wasn't an educator myself, I wouldn't necessarily know what I could steer them toward. As it happens, I AM an educator and have a wealth of information at my fingertips but I worry for folks who don't have that.

Over the next few days I will be compiling what I've seen available and sharing it in the hopes that others will share it too so that parents who need a guide in the right direction have it.

Let me be very clear before I begin: I am not complaining! This is just so odd to me and my experience as a teacher.

This February has been wild so far. For ESL teachers (or EL Specialists as someone recently said), February and March are generally testing months. In Michigan, we are part of the WIDA consortium so that is what my focus is for February.

That focus has been disrupted a couple of times already this year! February 10 we had a snow day. Except for 2019, when Michigan experienced a polar vortex situation and then an ice storm that shut us down for almost two straight weeks (we literally had an entire week off school, two days of school the next week and then three more days off -- unheard of!), snow days have been a relatively rare experience in my career. My old district was pretty notorious for being the only district in our county open and then our enrollment was so low, it counted as a snow day anyway. This always annoyed me to death because a) I was driving past multiple closed districts knowing full well the day wasn't going to count anyway and b) I was risking my safety being out on roads everyone else deemed too dangerous to be out on.

So the unexpected snow day in my new district -- our first one this year -- was really quite nice. [It was even better because my own kids didn't have one and were insanely jealous; I just reminded them of all of the times they had snow days when I didn't. I live 45 minutes away from work now and my new district is along the lake shore in Michigan so the weather there is worse than it is more inland.] The only bad thing about snow days on Mondays is it makes me feel off the next day; I always feel like it should be Monday but its Tuesday ;) Alas, we made it happen. I tested all day Tuesday and Wednesday with my saving grace being my one dedicated 6th hour class because I got to end my day teaching instead of testing. Always a bonus.

Somehow, I had the foresight to bring my backpack home with me on Wednesday, full of the stuff I needed to do. I was pretty confident I wouldn't work on it at home (I rarely do; I just really utilize my time at work to get it done there) but I knew I would have some time Thursday morning between my test sessions to look at it and that's what I planned to do. Well low and behold, Wednesday evening we got an email saying the superintendent was cancelling school for Thursday because we've had excessive illnesses both with students and staff and they wanted to extra sanitize and clean everything. This is a huge deal because we already had Friday and Monday off for mid-winter break (my first one ever as it isn't something my old district has). So I unexpectedly had a 5 day weekend.

As I have spent most of February already testing and prepping for testing and making up testing, the extra days off were super nice. I won't complain!!

I have learned in the last several months to really slow down (a big deal because it isn't something I've ever really been very good at). I no longer feel the need to be on the go 24/7. I've spent a lot of the days off just working on my crochet projects and spending time with my family -- definitely a break! Plus the sun has been shining the last few days which is also pretty rare in Michigan for February so it has been truly wonderful.

Again, I will never complain about an unexpected break, but this one really could  not have come at a better time. I'm so, so grateful to my new district for really thinking of staff and student health and giving us all a chance to get healthy and go back to school on the 18th refreshed and ready to go.

This past summer, right after I got home from Uganda, I went to a SIOP training. SIOP stands for Sheltered Instruction Observation Protocol. It is a set of strategies that were designed to make learning more accessible for English Learners (ELs; previously they had often been referred to as English Language Learners or ELLs).

I had taken a SIOP training way back in 2007 when I was a new teacher and had taken my first contracted job at a school that served predominantly students of Hispanic backgrounds. At that time, I was a 2nd year teacher and my principal not only signed me up to participate in the SIOP workshop, but also encouraged me to get my Master's in TESOL instead of Reading. I'm forever grateful that he did because a) I have so much passion for working with my ELs and b) it gave me job security when there was still a lack of job security in teaching. Having the ESL endorsement really ensured I would never be laid off.

As I have worked in a general education classroom for 13 of my 14 years of teaching, I certainly used the SIOP strategies, especially because for 12 of those 13 years, most of my students were classified as ELs. (In fact, last year, of my 29 students, only TWO were not bilingual but ALL of them had at least one parent who was of Hispanic heritage.) However, as I was transitioning from a self-contained elementary classroom where I had the same students throughout the day to a position as an ESL teacher, I knew I wanted to brush up on my SIOP training.

The very first training I did was one afternoon. You could classify it was a very brief overview (sometimes I say it was a "fly by night" type of training because it was so brief). This past summer, however, the training was much more in-depth. It was 3 full days full of learning, engagement and provided me with so much more to bring into my new role as an ESL teacher.

Earlier this fall, as I was settling into my new role, my ESL team in our district (there are three of us) were invited to join a local EL Connect network. We meet four times per year with other ESL teachers in the area to connect, share stories, get some professional learning around supporting our ELs and network. Most recently they announced an opportunity to become a SIOP Trainer. I was very excited about the possibility because there hasn't been much SIOP work in my district and having someone who can train our staff would be hugely beneficial.

I got a letter of recommendation from my principal, our EL Connect Coordinator and completed the application. Applications were due last Friday and today I got an email telling me that I was accepted for the program! I am so excited about it!

I LOVE providing professional development for my fellow educators and I am super excited to have this opportunity. I will spend two days in March in Lansing at the training and then one day in April there as well. Some time this summer, I will have an opportunity to complete the training by helping to facilitate a SIOP training in one of our regional ISDs.

I'm super grateful because I do have so much passion for supporting my EL students and having an opportunity to bring this work into my district in a professional way is really exciting!

Wow!

I just realized I have not posted here at all in 2020. Oops. Time flies when you're having fun? :)

January felt about 2000 years long, but then it usually does, at least here in Michigan, because the sun barely shines and those gray days just blend into each other.

We have officially entered the second half of the school year, which is crazy to me. This year has been flying by! I have chuckled a little that I'm finally in a groove and then the WIDA testing season shows up and throws a wrench into that groove.

With the arrival of February, we are in WIDA season, which means most of my responsibilities for the next month will surround testing/proctoring. Not the most exciting thing to do, but I AM excited to see where the students make the most growth. If I was a bettin' gal, I'd bet my elementary students will make a ton more progress than my middles. I say this because I've certainly had reluctant learners in my career, but never this many.

It's quite sad actually because it signals to me that somewhere along the way the system has really failed these students. (To be clear, I am not saying my specific district has failed these students, I am saying the system as a whole which has not always provided monies to support these students has failed them. These systems can include trainings and other supports for every adult working with ELs...when those monies aren't there and budget cuts have to happen, these supports are often the first to go and that is a state issue.)

I've done what I can to be supportive and teenagers are known for being fickle beings so even though they complain, I know they secretly like that they have someone there cheering them on and nagging them. If they really hated it, they wouldn't follow my advice, and they do; they just don't want me to think that I'm having an impact because that wouldn't be "cool." (Ahh the teenage mind.)

Despite all of that, I do think my elementary friends are more likely to try to "please" and as I have spent time actually discussing this test with them (I have no idea if my predecessor did or not), I'm curious to see how they grow compared to the middles.

The bad news is, one of our EL colleagues is supporting in a classroom for a new teacher so my mentor and I have to cover her buildings for testing. It's not "bad" necessarily, just throws a wrench in things. If I was only testing my own schools, I'd be done by our mid-winter break (Feb 14) if everyone is present and tests on time. As I am supporting my colleague, I have two extra weeks of testing to do to help her. I don't mind helping at all (that's what we do!), but it saddens me that I won't get to see my own groups during those other weeks.

Testing can be incredibly tedious because you're not supposed to do anything except actively monitor the students as they test. This is so necessary but not mentally stimulating (especially when you're me and you're a pretty animated person who is bouncing all over the room all day). My saving grace will be my 6th hour class.

The good news is, despite my schedule change to support testing in the other schools, I still get to work with my dedicated class every day. That makes me so happy because it's the very end of the day and will give me something stimulating to do before the day is over. We are focusing on novel studies this quarter so that's fun too because I'm a reader (even if they aren't!) and being able to talk about the book with the students and finally see them engage in discussions is quite lovely.

I'm hopeful my schedule goes off without a hitch and that we don't have to spend a ton of time on makeup testing because I am eager to get back to my regular schedule and see my groups. They are excited for that as well. Makes going to work a big pleasure.

It's so hard to believe it is the last day of 2019! Where is the time flying to?

As we close out this year, I think it is important to reflect on the growth and changes we have made within our lives and within ourselves. This time last year, as I was choosing my #OneWord for 2019, I was really focused on myself: who I wanted to be, what I wanted out of my life and how I wanted to finally feel like I was somewhere I belonged. I focused on the word renewal as my #OneWord and boy did I ever live up to that word.

For so many years, I had allowed myself to be taken advantage of because I didn't ever want to say no or seem like I wasn't a team player or helpful. Unfortunately, that reputation preceded me in my career and people just associated my name with the concept that I would always go above and beyond. Way above and beyond. This bit me in my backside multiple times in my career as one person cannot possibly be the most effective teacher they can be and have a myriad of other responsibilities that actually do not impact students.

So last January, I started putting my foot down. I started saying no. I backed out of things I had been asked to do that I didn't really want to do anyway. It made some people mad and it caused some gossip, but unfortunately, gossip was nothing new where I was. It happened in every school I was part of. I continued to push myself to be who I really wanted and needed to be.

In April, when I discovered that I had been royally deceived, I was done. I wasn't going to do this anymore. I pride myself on being honest; honest to a fault actually because sometimes folks don't appreciate my honesty. They would rather keep the peace and the status quo and I am not about that life (and never have been). When someone deceives me on purpose, that's it. We are done. You don't get a second chance, especially when it's in a professional setting. It turned out to be a good thing because it was the catalyst I needed to take my time and talents elsewhere.

In mid-May I was offered my new job as an ESL teacher and I felt blessed to know that I had something lined up for the following year. That may have felt, at that time, like the culmination of my word renewal. I had done it. I had gotten myself a position that I was suited for and would (hopefully) appreciate my time and talents in a way I hadn't felt for a long time where I was.

We ended our school year and within a few days, I was aboard a plane for a month in Uganda working alongside their teachers as a coach. I have always wanted to coach, but have never been given the chance to do so. Uganda changed me. I have told people since I have been back in the USA that I feel like I left part of me in Kunungu District (I definitely left a little skin back there when I slipped on a hike!). I found renewal there too because I realized how simple life could be and how happy everyone we met in Kunungu was. Sure, they called us mzungu's (white people) because there aren't white people there usually, but it wasn't said to be rude or mean, we were more like a novelty. I remember the first day that Heather, Selene and myself went to our assigned school. The students all wanted to touch us because they had never really seen white people before. My eyes were opened to the conditions they have and I was amazed at just how happy they were; they didn't have the creature comforts we are used to in the US but they were cheerful, friendly and probably the happiest people I've ever met.

I came back to the US on July 1. It took me awhile to get used to the fast-paced lifestyle we lead here. I found myself annoyed at the trivial crap people obsess over. My fellow school coaches and I decided to gift our school with real blackboards because while it was crazy expensive to the school (over a million Ugandan shillings), it was only about $330 US, split three ways it was no big deal. I felt like we were leaving a legacy for the children and their teachers and something that would be sustainable for years to come. (And when they had them installed, they were so happy and told us we were angels. We aren't...we were just humbled by these amazing people.)

Then it was time to focus my attention toward my new job. I really didn't know what to expect because I had always been a general education teacher. Even though I have been classified as an ESL teacher for over 10 years, I was always still in a general education setting. This was going to be very new. In mid-July, my new ESL team invited me over for dinner to get to know each other (they've worked together going on 18 years) and I found out there I would have one elementary school and the middle school on my caseload, roughly 55-60 students total.

I went to a ton of trainings at the end of August and then prepped my classrooms for my new adventure. I was excited to know that I would have a class in my middle school where I got to work with my lower ELs but also wasn't tied to an actual curriculum (color me happy!).

I love my job. I think, honestly, it is the best part of this year. I haven't been babysat, no one has hovered over me, and I have been given the professional freedom to make some changes to do what is right by our students. More or less, I have been left to my own devices which I have discovered really fits my personality! In all seriousness, however, I have been treated like a professional who is competent enough to make decisions and follow through on them. That was not true for me previously. The freedom in my job is amazing and I really love what I do.

The last day before winter break, I was at my elementary school in the morning and the middle school in the afternoon as I typically am on Fridays. I knew with the excitement of the school parties and the school-wide celebrations we were having, I wasn't going to pull my groups. I did, however, go to each classroom I see students from to wish them a happy holiday and tell them I would see them in January. The compliments I got from the staff about how happy they are that the students want to come with me made my day. My elementary principal also wrote on my Christmas card that she was so happy I had brought joy to their students. I think that may well have put the nail on the head for my word renewal. I had finally found who I was and was meant to be, in a place where I felt respected, have always been treated like a professional and feel good about the work I do.

In all, I'd say this year has been a good one. It has certainly had its ups and downs (what year doesn't?), but I have gone into everything head-on and with the goal of trying to figure out the purpose or lesson of the situation. It really got me through some of the tougher times.

That leads me to my #OneWord for 2020. I have been thinking about what I wanted this word to be -- It had to be spectacular to follow up on renewal. I found an online quiz somewhere and it told me my word would be harmony. As soon as it popped up on the screen, I knew that was my word, without a doubt.

I am at a point in my life where there are many things happening (one of my kids will be graduating this year and the last one next year; my oldest is thinking of trying for Baby #2) and I want to feel at peace with the stage of life I am in. I think harmony is an amazing word to try to live up to -- to take each day and lesson as they come and try to grow and be better with every lesson.

As this year wraps up and we had into 2020, I wish you peace, harmony and happiness.

Happy winter break to all the teachers and kids out there!

This winter break is extra special for me because I am getting to spend it bonding with my new rescue pup! I grew up having dogs and my husband and I have had dogs together most of our marriage (I think in the 19 years we've been together, we only haven't had a dog for about 2 to 2 1/2 of those years!).

We moved to our current house in 2003. To the day, a year later, a new family moved in next door and their female dog had had a big litter of puppies. As The Youngest was pretty little (about 20 months old), she was obsessed. I remember getting her out of the van after getting home from daycare and she would run over to the fence separating our houses and drop to her knees to see all of the puppies! Needless to say, we had to get one. We had Morgan for 10 years. He was a great dog and loved by all. When he was about 7 we got a puppy, Hershey. Hershey loved Morgan, Morgan did not love Hershey. At all. I'm quite sure his face in some of the pictures we have of them meeting is saying, "What is THIS thing?" :)

We lost Morgan in 2014. He had had some health issues, including a tumor that was growing behind his eye. The vets were confident it wasn't cancerous and it didn't ever seem to bother him but he was losing his hearing and had some other issues happening. He fell down the stairs and broke his leg and the poor ole boy was just miserable. So we had to make the hard decision to put him down. It was awful. I took a day off work because I was so sad about it.

Hershey missed his big brother so much. It was probably a month before he stopped looking around for Morgan. (I later learned that it takes 3-4 weeks for another animal to finally lose the scent of the other pet.) Hershey has been a constant companion for us since we got him in 2011. We didn't think we were going to have to worry about losing him any time soon.

Unfortunately, he developed some fatty tissue on one of his back legs. We took him to the vet and they even did a biopsy but it came back negative. They thought it was just an infection starting up. We put him on an antibiotic and thought that was the end of it. He completed the round of antibiotics but there didn't seem to be much change in it. About a week after the antibiotic round was done, the spot turned rock hard and it seemed to be growing. We knew it was beginning to bother Hershey because he would bite at it and finally we had to put a cone on him so he wouldn't mess with it when we were all gone at work and school.

My husband took him back to the vet on a Tuesday and the vet said, "there is no easy way to tell you, but it's definitely cancer." They even reviewed the previous records from the last visit and couldn't believe that the biopsy had come back negative before. They told us to keep him comfortable and as long as he was eating and seemed happy, to expect him to have about 3-5 months.

Less than a week later, we were at the Animal Emergency Hospital and we were losing him. It was heartbreaking, especially because he was only 8 years old and he had been so healthy in the weeks leading up to that. The cancer was very aggressive and hit him fast and furious.

I was devastated. I stopped sleeping well. I was eating my feelings (and I knew it). I stopped going to the gym. I spent a lot of time journaling and a lot of time in therapy talking about Hershey and trying to figure out why his loss was affecting me so much. I knew that I was also devastated when we lost Morgan, but I think I also recognized that having Hershey there allowed us to be comforted. There wasn't just an empty space the way there was when Hershey was gone.

Finally, after speaking at length about it to my therapist, and some friends, I realized what it really was.

Way back in 2010 when I began to blog for the first time, I was on medical leave. I had left an extremely abusive classroom situation and was at home dealing with depression, anxiety and some post-traumatic stress (as the abuse in the classroom triggered memories of my childhood abuse that I had suppressed). It occurred to me as I was really exploring my feelings about Hershey's loss that when I was home during that medical leave, I was alone 5 days per week for about 6-7 hours a day while my husband and kids were all in school or at work. Who was there with me? Morgan. He never left my side actually.

Last November (2018) when my depression hit an incredible low point, probably the lowest it had ever been when I was feeling dark and not myself at all, who was there? Hershey. While I did not take time away from work last year to deal with my depression, I did rely on the dog being there when I was sad. He was 100% my husband's dog (if there was a choice between the two of us, it wasn't going to be me), but instinctively, he seemed to know when I was really sad and needed some extra TLC. He would seek me out and put his head on my leg so I'd pet him or he'd come lay by me on the couch.  These dogs had been my emotional support animals and I didn't even know it. They were just always there and gave me the extra love and support I needed when my anxiety and/or depression were getting the better of me.

Of course, this realization brought on a little guilt. I realized I had totally just taken for granted the unconditional love I was getting from these animals. I loved them of course, but I certainly could see where *I* could have been a better dog mom with hindsight being 20/20 and all.

As such, I told The Husband that I needed a dog in my life. It was so beyond a want. I explained all of this to my therapist and she also agreed that this was not a want for me; it was a need. I hadn't slept well in over a month since Hershey had passed away and that was seriously going to begin to affect my job and my personal life.

I connected with some local shelters because I knew that Bissell was having its Clear the Shelters events coming up. We filled out our applications, had our vet give us a reference and prepared to meet some dogs. I went to the Humane Society and saw several dogs that I liked, but they either were not cat tolerant or they weren't good with small children. While I don't have a small child who lives with me, my 3 1/2 year old grandson is around enough that any dog we have has to be good with children. So that left all of those dogs off the list.

Then I connected with a shelter in the area I work in. It's only about 5-10 minutes up the road from my middle school so very easy for me to get there after work. We were interested in two dogs in particular. One was in a foster home and the other was in a shelter. We couldn't make the deadline for the Clear the Shelters event because of the foster mom's schedule but were happy to pay the adoption fee if we had a match.

On Sunday, December 15, we met a wonderful 3-4 year old Pitt Bull/Shar Pei mix named Dino. He has been in foster since early November because he was not doing well at the shelter. He had come in as a stray and is a beautiful animal. I had seen several of his pictures and the post his foster mom had made on the shelter's Facebook page and I was in love already. He is very sweet but they suspect he was abused by a man at some point because he takes a lot of time to warm up to men.

I was in love immediately. I didn't even want to meet the other dog because I knew I'd want to take them both home and that wasn't about to happen. We let the shelter folks know we definitely wanted to follow through with adopting Dino and I made arrangements with the foster mom and the shelter to finalize everything and pick him up on December 20 on my way home from work. This would be perfect because it was also the start of my winter break so we'd have time to help the dog adjust and settle in a bit.

We rechristened him as Odie because I just don't think he looks like a Dino. What's really funny is, the day that I signed the adoption packet, the woman at the shelter was verifying my employment and said, "Oh, you're a teacher, aren't you?" and I said, "Yes." She kind of chuckled and said, "that's funny because we dressed Dino/Odie up as a Teacher's Pet for Halloween!" How's that for irony? :)

I love this dog. He is seriously the sweetest. He's very obedient, learns quickly and is so loyal. He is taking a little longer to warm up to/get used to The Husband, but I think that's to be expected since we know he was likely mistreated by a man at some point. I've taken Odie on multiple walks around our neighborhood and he is amazing on a leash (that was not something I could ever say of Hershey!) and is so well behaved. He lets me dress him in doggy t-shirts and he sleeps at my feet to keep me safe. I love it.

I seriously have to question who rescued who? I have slept so soundly the last three nights he has been with us. I can feel the tension in my body slowly subsiding. I really wonder if he can sense that I was mistreated as a child just like he was and thus we instantly bonded.

I have taken my role as dog mom so much more serious this time, especially now that I understand how much of an impact my previous dogs had on my emotional well being. Odie is a dream dog. We even left him alone for several hours his 2nd night here so we could celebrate our daughter's birthday and he didn't leave a mess in the house or destroy anything either. (Honestly I was a little worried because you just never know with a new pet at home.)  He is friendly, affectionate, a cuddler and so so loyal.

I've never adopted/rescued before. All the previous dogs I can remember having in my life we got as puppies. Puppies are overrated! I haven't had to house-train Odie because he already was. He knows some simple commands like sit and he comes when I call him (we are working on "stay") and it's so much better being past the potty training phase!

Again, I never really appreciated how much my previous dogs supported me emotionally. Now that I know that to be true, my bond with Odie is going to be so much stronger, I think. We walk together, we play together and we rest together. It's definitely the start of a beautiful friendship and I am almost convinced that he actually rescued me.

This might seem like an odd title for a blog post when we have several weeks of 2019 to go. However, recently I came across this tweet that has been nagging at me since I saw it.

Let me be immensely clear. I am not annoyed with the author of this tweet at all. In fact, I really appreciated that he wrote the blog post that he did (you can read it here). I think one of the things that I appreciated so much about his post was how destructive the message of YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING BIG -- THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH TIME LEFT!!!!!! can be to those of us with anxiety.

Truth be told, I have not seen the meme that he referred to. But the idea of that meme even existing has been nagging at me. I thought about it and realized how many big things I have actually accomplished in the last 10 years. Just considering my professional accomplishments, I still have quite a list:
1) I earned my Master's degree in TESOL in 2010
2) I earned National Board Certification in 2013
3) I became part of a Teacher Leadership cohort in 2015
4) I mentored 7 pre-service teachers between 2013 and 2019
5) I earned my Doctorate of Education in 2018
6) I became a certified Restorative Practices Facilitator in 2018
7) I served as a Teacher Leader with Leading Educators in 2018-2019
8) I took a month of my summer in 2019 to coach and work with teachers in Uganda

This doesn't even consider the going above and beyond way I approach my professional life anyway. Not to mention this is only my professional list, it has not a single inkling of anything I have accomplished in my personal life.

I earned letters behind my name in the last ten years (for professional purposes, I do add NBCT, Ed.D. behind my signature in emails and such). I gave back to the profession by supporting incoming teachers. I defend our profession and try to help people see that yes, it is a hard job, but it is the most worthwhile job there is.

I have tried in the last week to figure out WHY the idea of that meme bothered me so much. Again, I'm grateful for the post that brought it to my attention because it allowed me to reflect and grow. I finally realized why it was bothering me. You don't have to earn letters behind your name or have huge professional accomplishments to not feel like you've wasted the last ten years.

I will use my husband as an example (which I'm sure he will love *wink*). He has not earned any degrees. He has not gotten a promotion. He has not taken on leadership roles in his job. So this would mean he has totally wasted the last ten years by the logic of the meme, right? But as I thought on it, I realized this is exactly why the very idea of that meme got under my skin. No, perhaps the Mister hasn't done anything to earn the accolades of other people or make them go WOW, YOU'RE AWESOME. But I'd like to tell you what he HAS accomplished:

1) He has helped raise three incredibly generous, beautiful daughters

2) He has supported the four women in his life as they have pursued their goals

3) He has had a stable and steady income (i.e. not bouncing from job to job) that has allowed me to pursue all of my lofty goals [refer to my crazy list above for said goals]

4) He has been a stable and rock solid person when I have struggled with my mental health coping with my childhood abuse in the last ten years

5) He has been clearheaded and had a vision for our future that I have not always been able to see in terms of saving money and making sure we won't starve or lose the lifestyle we enjoy

6) He has been a fierce protector for me in terms of making sure people from my past who are toxic are not allowed to be around me and/or upset me

By this list, the Mister hasn't really accomplished ANYTHING by the definition set forth by that meme. But I could argue his list is much more important than mine. Sure, I've dedicated my life to supporting other people's kids and giving them an education. That is worthwhile for sure, but I think it is also worthwhile and not a waste of a decade to be a supporter, an advocate, a protector and a champion.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety on and off since February 2010. It's really a manifestation of abuse I dealt with as a child that I didn't acknowledge. I am immensely grateful that my Mister is the stable person he is, because there are times that I am not stable. It doesn't mean I will hurt someone or myself, but my head is not always rational. There have been times I have realized I really have Rational Raye and Irrational Raye. Usually they get along and Rational Raye is in control, but sometimes that isn't true. And the Mister is always there to hold my hand and guide me when Irrational Raye takes over. That is huge. That is an accomplishment that perhaps won't win any accolades or awards, but certainly shows me that the Mister has not wasted these last ten years.

This is a month where most people consider things they are thankful for. It's hard amongst those celebrations to experience a loss.

On November 18, we had to put down our 8 year old chocolate lab, Hershey. In 2014, we had to put down our 10 year old dog, Morgan. It's like losing a child. We had each dog since they were puppies and losing them was not easy either time.

Hershey's passing was incredibly unexpected. A few weeks ago, we noticed a growth on his leg and the vet said it wasn't anything to be super concerned with. We had him on an antibiotic regime for two weeks and thought it would be fine. It wasn't though. In that time, the growth got bigger and turned rock hard. It didn't bother the dog when it was soft and squishy but when it began to harden up, it clearly started to bother him.

My husband took the dog back to the vet last Tuesday and they said it was definitely cancer and that, at best, Hershey had 3-4 months to live. We thought we would at least have him through the holidays. Unfortunately that didn't happen. He deteriorated so fast. He stopped eating well, he was having trouble getting up the back stairs (the only way in and out of the house), he was biting the spot so often we had to put a cone on him and he wouldn't take a treat even though that was always his favorite thing. With heavy hearts, we had to make the decision to do the right thing for him and help him go peacefully.

I've had to do that before and it sucks no matter when or how you have to do it. I've known my husband for 19 years and I can count on one hand (with fingers left) how many times I have seen that man cry. It was so, so hard for us to say goodbye to our beloved companion.

Today was really hard when I woke up and realized there wasn't a dog to actually take outside. It was hard coming home from school and realizing that Hershey wasn't going to be here to greet me when I came in the door.

My heart is heavy and sad and this will surely take some of the happy out of our holidays this year.

I can't believe its been a whole month since I posted! Time is flying by.

I'm adjusting to my new job and schedule and I really enjoy going to work every day. That's such a blessing after being restless and unsettled for so long.

Unbelievably, we are almost through the first quarter! Two more weeks and we will be finishing up the first 9 weeks. I can't believe it. It's been a bit of an adjustment for me working with such a wide range of grades, but I have to admit, I LOVE teaching middle school. It is so much fun and my colleagues are really awesome.

As I have gotten used to what my students' needs are at the middle school level, I have adjusted our days and our schedule. I'm also trying to help them see that they do have some choice and ownership in what we do. They are skeptical because I don't think they've ever been asked what THEY think about something, but I'm trying to empower them and give them that ownership.

We are going to transition into doing some book studies. We will read The Giver first. I absolutely love that book and I have a class of reluctant readers...this is such a thought-provoking story that I am hoping I can entice them into wanting to explore other stories because they realize reading can be fun and enjoyable.

Over the course of the year, we will also be reading The Bridge to Terabithia, Tuck Everlasting and a book I found in our book room called Coach Carter. I am also thinking that in the spring, as we gear up for WIDA, we will read The Westing Game because it's a good murder mystery and I think they will enjoy it.

We are not starting our first novel study until the 2nd quarter (November 4)  so that I have time to flesh out the way that I'd like to lay out the novel study for the class. I'm really excited for it and hope that they enjoy the story as much as I do.

We have successfully completed two weeks of this school year. That seems so crazy to me! It's passing in a blur but also feels like we've been at it for awhile because of the routines I've tried to set.

I am a creature of habit and I thrive on routines. I know that my students always have too, even if they don't realize it. I try to keep my daily routine as similar as possible to help establish a schedule that works for me.

This year, of course, it's a little different because I am in two schools. I spend three mornings per week at my elementary building and then after lunch I travel to the middle school (I'm there 5th and 6th hour every day). Two days per week I am at the middle school all day. I was a little nervous about the schedule because I thought it might make it hard for me to get into a good routine, but I have been given a lot of freedom to make this position work for me, and thus I think that has helped me to establish a workable schedule more easily.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are my travel days. We have late starts on Tuesdays and I thought it would just be easier to be at the middle school those days since that is the hourly schedule I follow.

A typical Monday/Wednesday/Friday for me will look like this:
5:30 am Wake up, Shower & Prep for School
6:30 am Leave the house for school
7:20 am Arrive at the elementary
7:30-8:30 am Elementary Planning time (Note: I take this time first thing in the morning since they don't start until 8:25 and it allows me to still follow the secondary time table.)
8:30-8:55 am Push in Kindergarten
8:55-9:35 am Push in First Grade (20 minutes each in two classrooms)
9:35-10:05 am 2nd Grade Writing*
10:05-10:30 am Push in 4th Grade
10:30-11:15 am Flexible (Testing, Paperwork, Make up Small Groups, etc)
11:15-11:45 am 3rd Grade Writing*
11:45-12:15 pm Lunch
12:15-12:45 pm Travel & Transition
12:48-1:47 pm 5th hour (I use this time to float around and offer support to any of my ELs who don't have a dedicated time during the week, including students I don't have in my 6th hour class but are on my caseload.)
1:51-2:50 pm 6th hour ESL Class**
2:50-3:10 pm Prep for the Next Day
3:10-4:15 pm Gym (Typically Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday)
4:15-5:00 pm Travel Home

*I'm only pulling out for two grades: 2nd and 3rd (convenient since that is what I taught last year!). This is because the EL students in those two grades are spread across multiple classrooms and with the schedule I have, it wasn't feasible to try to push in (one day a week of push in is not helpful). So I will be leading two small groups of writing activities 3 days per week with those two grades. The other grades, I am supporting all for writing as well, but since the students are grouped more easily into one class (or as with 1st grade where I can do 20 minutes each), it serves us all better for me to offer push in support with the teacher's current lesson.

**My ESL class is 6th-8th grade (so yes I do start my day with the smallest kids in kinder and end it with kids in 8th grade!). It's a small class of only 15 to allow room for any new students who come during the year.  This class is basically whatever I want to make it as long as we are working within the WIDA and CCSS.

A typical Tuesday/Thursday for me will look like this:
5:30 am Wake up, Shower & Prep for School
6:30 am Leave the house for school
7:10 am Arrive at the Middle School
7:10-7:45 am Prep for the Day/Finalize Schedule
7:45-9:05 am 1st Hour (I spend this time supporting a 6th grade newcomer in his ELA class)
9:09-10:08 am 2nd Hour (I spend this time floating between my other students whom I don't have a dedicated spot for; this means every time is a little different)
10:12-11:11 am 3rd Hour (I spend this time supporting a 7th grade newcomer in his ELA class)
11:11-11:41 am Lunch
11:44-12:44 pm 4th Hour (Planning) [Note it's 60 minutes due to the lunch periods]
12:48-1:47 pm 5th Hour (I spend this time supporting another 7th grade newcomer in his ELA class)
1:51-2:50 pm 6th Hour ESL Class
2:50-3:10 pm Prep for the Next Day
3:10-4:15 pm Gym (Typically Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday)
4:15-5:00 pm Travel Home

I really love my schedule. This past week I gave it a whirl and it worked out great. It definitely keeps me on my toes and I am moving around all day long. That is exactly the kind of change I think I was looking for when I started pursuing another job.

Plus, I have to admit that I love that I still have my foot in elementary but I am not confined to teaching the same kids all day for all subjects. The variety I have in my new job is exciting and it's really quite nice to have an excuse to visit other classrooms and see how other teachers set things up. (And I'm not going to lie, the fact that I no longer have to deal with recess, indoors or out, is a huge bonus! I'm all about kids getting outside, but I hated recess duty.)

I am really quite pleased with my schedule and my new end time allows me to hit the gym after work three days per week and still get home at a decent enough hour that I can spend time with my family without feeling like I'm always rushing for the next day. In addition, having a dedicated planning block every day is fabulous. (In my previous job, we had 3 planning blocks per week and they varied in length from 35, 40 or 48 minutes.) Having a dedicated hour every day is AWESOME and I get so much done at work that I'm not having to drag things home. Thus my evenings can be dedicated to family which is how it should be.